Writing Wednesday: To the Man I Have Finally Forgiven

To the Man I Have Finally Forgiven

I desired to grasp you;
but you sank from me
like after wading constantly
for hours under this pressure.

I can explain my boiling life water
filled with eggs I might not use
not wanting to become like you.

But it would be useless at this point.
I might get lost in gravel
picking at each piece of sandy
flecks which remains stuck
despite sitting in a bath
until I was a prune

Who decided I needed
to forgive you
at some point,
somehow find the strength to
let go of it all, fling my emotions

into the washing machine
set it to delicate
pray everything comes out intact
being clean would only be a bonus.

with a hope that you somehow
was just misunderstood.
To forget your actions and
restart would make it easy
like slipping through liquid.

Yet I never learned how to
Swim, you never taught me,
and I never could
gather the courage to float
on top of you
because I may drown trying.

Because you see
I have weighted memories of you
which might make me sink

Yet the problems are
all the same; and
if I feel myself sinking,
I will realize I should have tried
To face the depths of you in which
I was afraid to swim,
despite the risks which presented themselves.

Maybe I would have understood sooner
That both of us
Were tying rocks to our feet
We just needed to be brave enough
To dive under and let them go

Saved From Drowning

Saved From Drowning

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