I have no idea how a person is supposed to be romantic or flirt or anything. I mean I have a boyfriend and yet still don’t know. I feel like a baby giraffe trying to transverse a muddy slope. I’m awkward, ungraceful, and overall have no idea what I’m doing. I know what personality traits I like in a person and what I like in a relationship but how to sustain a healthy relationship is something I’m still figuring out.
I’ll be honest that I did not exactly grow up with the best role models for a healthy relationship. I mostly have seen what hurts a relationship rather than what a good relationship is supposed to be like. I worry that this will either leave me on edge in relationships waiting for the bottom to drop out from under me or that it will cause me to need the relationship to work so badly that I’m not willing to let go.
My boyfriend and I have a pretty healthy one but I feel like this is almost by accident. My main worry is that if the relationship is too one-sided or someone feels like they are sacrificing too much. I also worry that my desire to make things work and investment might cause me to ignore bad parts of the relationship and therefore be blind when a relationship isn’t good for me. When does a person make the decision to let go and what exactly is a good reason to do this? Again, I must restate that I love my boyfriend and things are going well. It’s more my home life which makes me ask these questions right now.
When people get a divorce is it because the people have changed or given up or what? At what moment is enough enough? But also when things are going well, how do you prevent it from going bad? How do you maintain a relationship? The heart is a mystery to man and I don’t expect anyone to know the answers. I don’t think any answers will be in a book or anything like that but rather through experience or hopefully through my observations of other relationships which work well.