The Self-Esteem Poem

Sitting here
I can feel your voices
Overhelming my own
I wish to shout
“I have ideas too”

The loudest
always get
The attention
Even if
they don’t deserve it

How is it that
the squeaky wheel
Gets more notice
Than the mouse
Squeaking from pain

Meanwhile the mouse
Beats herself up
Her hurt self esteem
Hidden by the silence

Squeezing her open wounds
Pouring out pulp
For those whose
poor self confidence
Is masked by
their blasting boombox

Yet I Do Nothing

The reason
I pick at my acne
Until it bleeds
Isn’t a simple one

One
I hate the pressure
Under my outsides
The gnawing ache
Of my swollen pores

Two
When the liquid
the white paste
oozes out of me
I feel relief

Three
It doesn’t matter
How much the meds help
I still get the urge to
Pinch my insides out

Four
I never learned
How to keep myself smooth
At least not as smooth as I would like
Not as smooth as society tells me I should be

Five
It’s not a real problem to me
That my pain makes me feel better
Just like how I did not think
My anxiety was a problem either

But it was
And this might be
Yet I do nothing
But write this poem
And pick at my skin

The Back of My Neck

The Back of My Neck

In the dorm

In the dorm
There are thin barriers
You hear every sound

You hear the girl in room D
having loud sex
With her boyfriend

You hear the girls in room A
Listening to music
Singing in the shower

You hear the girl in room B
Who told you she was in crisis
Crying with loneliness

You hear the ghost
Of the girl who died
When her car tipped on its side

Meanwhile, in room C,
You are waiting for sleep
But reality is too loud

Hello Again!

Yet again dear readers I have returned,

I am unsure for how long this time around. I think when I posted last I told you that I was going back to school. It seems like on break is the only free time I really get but even that is somewhat untrue. You see I have unfortunately prioritized this last which is a real loss because I truly enjoy blogging. It helps me reflect.

I have been focusing on my Etsy more than this lately since I’m still hoping to get my first sale. I recently got from a forum post I created some great answers to my questions on how to tag items effectively to increase SEO.

My Shop Banner. You like?

My Shop Banner. You like?

I also am planning on learning how to cook and possibly videotaping my attempts. I could try to reach out to the college student community on a real life level as another college student struggling to make good-tasting, cheap, and quick meals.

Another reason I have been neglecting this blog is that I’ve gotten more involved in my college community lately. I’ve been continuing with Red Skies (a journalism wordpress run by a student staff), getting more involved with the English Honors Society, and the attempt of the Education department to create a branch of FEA (Future Educators of America). Not to mention I also work 8 hours in the Writing Center as a tutor.

All of this while keeping my grades up, hanging with my boyfriend on the weekends, and trying to make more items for my Etsy.

For now dear reader I hope you have enjoyed this ramble about my life. So much has happened. It is truly exciting and bit daunting.

I wonder if you all have forgotten about me. I would not blame you but I remember some of the lovely writings, art, and other wonderful ideas we shared. I’d love to share some more!

All the Best for You and Yours,

Megan